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Hey there! My name is Carrie and I'm an everyday wife and homeschool momma to three {very} energetic boys.  

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Motherhood

When Motherhood gets Messy

July 13, 2015

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When Motherhood gets MessyWhen Motherhood gets Messy

The other week I had a really bad day. The kind you call up your hubby and ask for prayers because you aren’t sure you’ll get through the day {a child throwing tantrums and wailing over everything will do that to you}. And by the end of the day, you’ve threatened to hand him a two-weeks notice because you’re ready to quit being mom {I know I’m not the only one!}.

There was really no specific cause I could put my finger on, it was just all just bad. It was also really discouraging. I spent the day frustrated, lost my temper once or twice with the kids. I questioned everything I’m putting into raising them and wondered if maybe God made a mistake because I’m just not cut out for this. We went to bed that night and woke up the next morning to do it all again. The crying, whining, training, dog food spilled on the floor, disappointing blog stats, breakfast strewn across the kitchen, and the dog who thought she needed more attention.

As if I wasn’t already pulled in 100 directions.

These moments aren’t the most fun to write about, but honesty and authenticity are incredibly important to me. It’s easy to write about the ideals of motherhood . . . to write flowery, touching sentences that inspire; but the truth is, sometimes it gets messy. And maybe even ugly. It’s easy to say that I love being a SAHM {and I do}, it’s much harder to admit that I struggle with it at times. That it feels lonely. Discouraging. Draining. Exhausting. Like I’m spinning my wheels all the time. That sometimes I want to just give up. But it is important to say these things because honesty brings freedom.Honesty reminds us that we are not alone–and that these minutes we invest in our children are not wasted.

During the afternoon of that second frustrating day, I saw When Satan Steals Your Motherhood from Letters from the Nest pop up in my news feed. And while I had a feeling it would be convicting, I felt a nudge to read it anyway. And what Christie wrote was exactly what I needed to hear.

I had a few moments to read, breathe, and pray before I heard some curious noises coming from the enclosed porch the boys were playing on. So I went to investigate and found this:


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In honesty, my gut reaction was to get frustrated and angry at their enjoyment and the new mess they had made. But I caught it. And I decided to take joy in their joy, and joy in the mess.

If I hadn’t caught my initial reaction, I would have missed the beauty of what happened next:

I captured that adorable picture. I think it’s now one of my favorites.

I would have missed Gidget looking around and saying {most adorably} “Oh Gator, we made a mess. We need to clean it up! Sorry momma.” And then he ran inside to grab to broom and dustpan.

When he returned, he handed the dustpan to Gator and they worked together to clean it up.


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Honestly, it was a beautiful moment–right there in the mess.

Now, did I still have to spend 10 minutes vacuuming birdseed from the far corners of the porch? Yes. But it was ok because my perspective had changed and I was leaning on the Grace of the One who is stronger than I.

Friends, sometimes this motherhood thing gets a little messy and we loose our way. Sometimes the days are long and every now and again, we may even hate being mom.

But you know what?

We weren’t meant to carry the load by ourselves. We weren’t meant to have it all together or be enough all the time. It’s not about making life perfect, clean and orderly–it’s about finding His grace in the chaos, mess, and humanness. Praise God He doesn’t leave us alone on this crazy, beautiful journey of motherhood.

Be encouraged,

Carrie

P.S. I’d love to connect with you! Find me on Facebook!

{Post shared with A Mama’s Story, The Deliberate Mom, Me, Coffee & Jesus, A Little R & R, Mom’s Morning Coffee}

  1. Winter says:

    Oh sweetie, I understand this post so well! I love love love, “Honestly, it was a beautiful moment–right there in the mess.” Isn’t that life, beautiful in the middle of the mess! I am so very glad to be your neighbor at R&R and I would love if you stopped by my place and linked up this great post!!

  2. Steph says:

    Oh Carrie….I cried when I read this post. You found the grace I’ve been searching for for too long. I’m not only a stay at home mom; I’m also a working mom, a blogger, and a business owner, and struggle to enjoy the moments like you describe in the oh-so-short time I get with my boys. Thank you for your encouragement today!

  3. Lissette says:

    I’ve been feeling much the same way lately and have been second guessing myself as a mother, but I also had a moment where things just came to me and made me realize that I am exactly what my son needs. I’m glad you did too. We all have bad days that will make us want to throw in the towel, but once you’re on the outside looking in, you realize there was a lesson in all that and you just need to learn, grow and move on.
    From Mom’s Morning Coffee. 🙂

  4. Love, love, love this! It’s all about perspective!

  5. Oh how I love this! Sometimes it is so so hard to remember to see what happens when all I see is mess and (ever more) work to do. Sometimes I don’t ask for help easily, sometimes I get mad at Hun because “I’m not a maid”, but other times I enjoy it all. I see that we’re living and we’re loving and we’re growing and we’re connecting….those are the things I want to remember. And many days I can, but days like this one you describe, yep, those are the ones that get me down. I’m so grateful to connect with others online such that I can be helped to remember to stop and see what happens…to hear Baby Boy say “oh no, oh no” and look for direction on what to do 🙂

  6. Oh how I love this post! I agree wholeheartedly that honesty and authenticity are the hallmarks to living and most especially in this career of Motherhood. The tough days are so tough, but it’s connecting with others (like you, like this) that help me remember to stop and see more than just (more) mess to clean! 🙂

  7. What a beautiful and encouraging post.
    When I worked in childcare, I constantly challenged staff to pause, to observe, and to listen before they reacted. I heard countless stories like this one… where their instinct was to shut things down but after pausing, they witnessed amazing things!

    However, now that I’m a stay at home mom, I struggle with this very thing because often all I can see is the mess and the frustration of what my children do.

    This was a wonderful reminder for me today.

    Thanks for sharing (and for linking up to the #SHINEbloghop).

    Wishing you a lovely day.
    xoxo

  8. Karen says:

    Beautifully written. Motherhood is messy, but without the mess we would not be able to appreciate the peace 🙂

  9. You are so right, honesty is very important. I love the turn around for you here. It is amazing what we can discover in a moment when we stop trying to control it all. thank you for sharing. #shinebloghop

  10. Liz Joiner says:

    I get those days too mama! But in the end I just have to remind myself that it’s all worth it. Yesterday my daughter dropped a weight on my foot after throwing everything out of the bin it was in, and I was in so much pain from the weight dropping onto my foot along with trying to pick up after her, I wanted to rip my hair out. But she didn’t know any better, then again, what kid does at 18 months? Having me time helps tremendously and reminds me why I love being a mom.
    liz @ sundays with sophie

  11. Beautiful encouragement! It’s right in the trenches we learn the most about that beautiful grace and we carry the greatest authority for people to see us live it out! Well done! Blessings!

  12. Tamryn says:

    Hi Carrie thank you for that. You are right we can blow up at our kids or look deeper into what they are thinking. They aren’t making messes or being annoying to be mean. To them it is just fun. So lovely of you children to think of cleaning up. My daughter helped clear the table this morning without being asked simply because she wanted to help me. Don’t let the devil steal from you.

  13. Laura Hicks says:

    God has really just love on my family and enjoy each moment lately. Despite how messy those moments can be. This was great confirmation. Thanks.

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Foundations Phonics

Let's Talk Science

Homeschooling

Motherhood

Categories

Hey there! My name is Carrie and I'm an everyday wife and homeschool momma to three {very} energetic boys.  

Faith

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