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The other week I had a really bad day. The kind you call up your hubby and ask for prayers because you aren’t sure you’ll get through the day {a child throwing tantrums and wailing over everything will do that to you}. And by the end of the day, you’ve threatened to hand him a two-weeks notice because you’re ready to quit being mom {I know I’m not the only one!}.

There was really no specific cause I could put my finger on, it was just all just bad. It was also really discouraging. I spent the day frustrated, lost my temper once or twice with the kids. I questioned everything I’m putting into raising them and wondered if maybe God made a mistake because I’m just not cut out for this. We went to bed that night and woke up the next morning to do it all again. The crying, whining, training, dog food spilled on the floor, disappointing blog stats, breakfast strewn across the kitchen, and the dog who thought she needed more attention.

As if I wasn’t already pulled in 100 directions.

These moments aren’t the most fun to write about, but honesty and authenticity are incredibly important to me. It’s easy to write about the ideals of motherhood . . . to write flowery, touching sentences that inspire; but the truth is, sometimes it gets messy. And maybe even ugly. It’s easy to say that I love being a SAHM {and I do}, it’s much harder to admit that I struggle with it at times. That it feels lonely. Discouraging. Draining. Exhausting. Like I’m spinning my wheels all the time. That sometimes I want to just give up. But it is important to say these things because honesty brings freedom.Honesty reminds us that we are not alone–and that these minutes we invest in our children are not wasted.

During the afternoon of that second frustrating day, I saw When Satan Steals Your Motherhood from Letters from the Nest pop up in my news feed. And while I had a feeling it would be convicting, I felt a nudge to read it anyway. And what Christie wrote was exactly what I needed to hear.

I had a few moments to read, breathe, and pray before I heard some curious noises coming from the enclosed porch the boys were playing on. So I went to investigate and found this:

In honesty, my gut reaction was to get frustrated and angry at their enjoyment and the new mess they had made. But I caught it. And I decided to take joy in their joy, and joy in the mess.

If I hadn’t caught my initial reaction, I would have missed the beauty of what happened next:

I captured that adorable picture. I think it’s now one of my favorites.

I would have missed Gidget looking around and saying {most adorably} “Oh Gator, we made a mess. We need to clean it up! Sorry momma.” And then he ran inside to grab to broom and dustpan.

When he returned, he handed the dustpan to Gator and they worked together to clean it up.

Honestly, it was a beautiful moment–right there in the mess.

Now, did I still have to spend 10 minutes vacuuming birdseed from the far corners of the porch? Yes. But it was ok because my perspective had changed and I was leaning on the Grace of the One who is stronger than I.

Friends, sometimes this motherhood thing gets a little messy and we loose our way. Sometimes the days are long and every now and again, we may even hate being mom.

But you know what?

We weren’t meant to carry the load by ourselves. We weren’t meant to have it all together or be enough all the time. It’s not about making life perfect, clean and orderly–it’s about finding His grace in the chaos, mess, and humanness. Praise God He doesn’t leave us alone on this crazy, beautiful journey of motherhood.

Be encouraged,

Carrie

P.S. I’d love to connect with you! Find me on Facebook!

{Post shared with A Mama’s Story, The Deliberate Mom, Me, Coffee & Jesus, A Little R & R, Mom’s Morning Coffee}